The first step towards peace is to observe one's own role in the war.

Point not to what your partner does to “cause” the relational conflict, rather ask, “What is it that I am responsible for?” “How do my motives, actions or lack of action perpetuate the disconnect with my partner?” After all, it only takes one person to respond in a different, non-habitual way for the dynamic to change, for the interaction to be altered. Relationships are always a 50/50 proposition. You are only in control of your 50%, but you are 100% responsible for this.