This past week I had a profoundly intense experience involving the death of a dear friend. Amidst a whole myriad of emotions, I am struck by the similarities between what death and intimate relationships ask of us. In both situations we are called to step forward in the face of terrifying uncertainty. Embedded in both circumstances is the opportunity to move more fully into relationship - or choose to hold back.
How we meet death, our own or someone close to us, illuminates something about how we tend to meet close relationships. How we live our lives informs how we relate to death. Love is about meeting these threshold relationships - whether death or an intimate partner - with our full self, our presence, our honesty, our vulnerability, our entire range of emotions, our authentic response. This requires nothing less than a fierce courageousness that we may not even be aware exists within us until these catalyst moments elicit it.
This week I found that paradoxically, as I mustered up the courage to move towards death, to be open to learning from it, to literally be hands-on, I found that I felt more alive, more affirming of life, less fearful of the inevitability of loss.
The real question becomes, are we moving towards this experience or away from it? Are we opening or closing to what is being offered?
