Wherein lies the resistance to giving?

First, what does it mean to truly give.

 

We usually think of giving in the sense of gifts and positive regard, but it is much deeper than this.  Giving is about offering one's most transparent self to another.  It is about being fully present in the sharing of oneself while simitaneously empathizing with the needs, feelings, experiences of another.  It is a committment to this intention in every moment of the relationship.

 

This means that giving in a real relationship might also take the form of saying "No".  It could be the honesty you bring forth by telling your partner that you are not able to give at this time.  In another sense, it can even mean the willingness to end a relationship. 

 

Unconditional giving also requires non-attachment to a particular outcome.  For instance, if we expect our partners to respond to us in a certain way or if we need to be heard or appreciated in a particular moment, then it isn't really a gift. 

 

So what is the resistance to giving?  In other words, where and why do we withhold love?  Is it that you have been hurt over and over again and want to protect yourself from further exposure?  Is it that so much resentment has accumulated that you are more interested in punishing than giving?  By the way, these are the same states.  Can you see that nothing justifies the withholding of love and no healing can ever occur without vulnerability.  Ask yourself, wherein lies the resistance to giving?